Pretend You're In Tahiti

MARY JANE GOES TO KEY WEST
© 2005 by Jim Morris

She's had a sunshine smile ever since she left St. Louis
She's got a taste of freedom now the girl's gone wild
She dropped the top never stopped to see Miami
Gonna go the distance, gonna go in style.

Tell all the boys in town they'd better get ready
She's making the crawl down Duval Street tonight
She's got the seat laid back
Soakin' up the sun
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1

A little landlocked girl who's never even seen the ocean
That clear green water makes it all worthwhile
She heard those Key West bars get a little bit rowdy
She'll know for certain in a hundred miles

Tell all the boys in town they'd better get ready
She'll party on Mallory pier when the sun goes down
She's got her hair pulled back
Soakin' up the sun
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1

A drink at the Loreli, hittin' on a cute guy
He wants to take her out tonight
But she wants to keep on movin' down that highway in the sun
Seacruise, more booze, a little bite at Bobalu's
Ah, now she's feeling right
Gettin' there slow is half the fun
She's got her hair pulled back
Soakin' up the sun
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1

There's some beautiful water all along that narrow highway
She can't keep from dreamin' as she rolls along
The numbers on the mileage signs get a little bit smaller
She's got the radio basting those funky island songs

Tell all the boys in town they'd better get ready
She'll be walking tall down Duval Street tonight
She's got her hair pulled back
Soakin' up the sun
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1
She's got the top down
Headin' down US 1

PRETEND YOU'RE IN TAHITI
© 2005 by Jim Morris

You're driving in a snowstorm and you it a patch of ice
You're sliding down the highway praying for your life
You start a chain reaction and suddenly there you are
With fifty-seven semis piled on top your car
They get the Jaws of Life and pull you from the wreck
Your blood is even bleeding and you think you broke your neck
The paramedics are crying as they carry you away
There's nothing they can do so you hear them say

Pretend you're in Tahiti
It's another world
Dancing on the beach with a topless girl
Forget about your troubles
It's bound to ruin your day
Tahiti is half a world away

You met her at the party and you're having lots of fun
Till the door comes crashing in and there's a giant with a gun
Based on his reaction, your woman is his wife
And he's not looking for a threesome, he's about to take your life
She tries to save herself and she puts the blame on you
Your eloquence escapes you and there's nothing you can do
His finger's on the trigger and your about to make his day
You're waiting for the blast when you hear the lady say

Pretend you're in Tahiti
It's another world
Dancing on the beach with a topless girl
Forget about your troubles
It's bound to ruin your day
Tahiti is half a world away

When things are going bad and there are demons at your door
Or your boss is chewing hard and your ass is getting sore
Retreat inside you mind to an island paradise
Ah Tahiti...now wouldn't that be nice

Ah, Tahiti
It's another world
And you're dancing on the beach with a topless girl
Forget about your troubles
It's bound to ruin your day
Tahiti is half a world away

Ah, Tahiti
It's paradise
A freaky tiki party, now wouldn't that be nice
Forget about your troubles
It's bound to ruin your day
Tahiti is half a world away
Ah, Tahiti is half a world away

BOOZE IS THE DUCT TAPE OF LIFE
© 2005 by Jim Morris

Booze is the duct tape of life
That's how I explained my behavior to my wife
You may think I'm drunk again
But I'm really just hanging in
Patched up to go the distance
When my luck is getting thin

She said you're insane
Hey, you're out of your mind
On the brink of total collapse
With that line you're giving
Jail would do you good
Hard labor, bad food
You're a pothole in the road to cheerful living

Booze is the duct tape of life
And I eschew that kind of language from my wife
I'm taken aback at her affront
It just a harmless little stunt
Let's make up and go to bed
And this is what she said

Hey, you're insane
Yeah, you're out of your mind
On the brink of total collapse
With that line you're giving
Jail would do you good
Hard labor, bad food
You're a pothole in the road to cheerful living

I'm glad we talked it over
It's good to communicate
But don't sugar coat it honey
Why don't you give it to me straight

COSMIC MAGICIAN
© 2005 by Jim Morris

Sometimes I just like to jump in my boat
Take off and get lost for the day
Travel way back in the mangroves
To some hidden spot far away
I don't even fish I just lay on the deck
And think about life for a while
I tackle the unanswered questions
Like why are we here
And who gave us beer

Is there some cosmic magician
Pulling strings down below
Who in the hell is driving this rock
Even the smartest don't know
If I could make one small suggestion
When it's all over I'll be
Out on the Gulf Stream
Trolling for mermaids
And singing a song of the sea

Sometimes I need to go sailing
And spend a few weeks in the keys
Skirting the islands, living on rum
And doing whatever I please
At night as I stare at the heavens
I wish I could travel the stars
I'd go to the end of the universe
And hitch me a ride
To the other side

Is there some cosmic magician
Pulling strings down below
Who in the hell is driving this rock
Even the smartest don't know
If I got to choose my hereafter
When it's all over I'll be
Out on the Gulf Stream
Trolling for mermaids
And singing a song of the sea

To my friends who have gone before me
I know you're out there somewhere
I hope you look over my shoulder
Whenever I'm gasping for air
If you know the Cosmic Magician
Please tell him I said hello
Also please give him this message
I'm glad that I'm here
And thanks for the beer

L.A. FREEWAY
© Guy Clark

Pack up all your dishes
Make a note of all good wishes
Say good-bye to landlord for me
Sons of bitches, they always bore me
Throw out those LA papers
Moldy box of vanilla wafers
Adios to all the concrete
Gonna find me some dirt road back street

Chorus
If I could just get off that LA freeway
Without getting killed or caught
Down that road in a cloud of smoke
For some land that I ain't bought, bought, bought
If I could just get off that LA freeway
Without getting killed or caught

Here's to you old Skinny Dennis
The only one I think I will miss
I can hear your Bassman singing
Sweet and low like the gift you're bringing
Aw, play it for me one more time now
Got to give it all we can now
I believe every word you're saying
So keep on, just keep playing

Repeat chorus

Put the pink slip in the mailbox
Leave the key in the old front door lock
They will find it likely as not
With all those things we have forgot
Oh my lady don't you cry
Love's a gift that's truly handmade
We've got something to believe in
But don't you think it was time we're leaving

Repeat chorus

A LOT GOING ON IN HIS HEAD
© 2005 by Jim Morris

His life is stowed in his duffel bag
His old clothes would make good rags
Some souvenirs and ID tags
From thirty years at sea
An old worn out Navy man
He's coming home and he has a plan
To settle on some family land
On Matacumbe Key

If hope keeps your dreams afloat
He's the owner of a sunken boat
Regretting every thing he wrote
And every thing he said
Every day you will find him there
A weather beaten Adirondack chair
He ain't crazy, he ain't lazy
He's got a lot going on in his head

He sits alone in his favorite spot
He doesn't speak he just stares a lot
His past is sad and his hopes are shot
He doesn't even try
Too many secrets and bloody dreams
He often dwells on what he's seen
Some of that just made him mean
As the years went by

Too many gambles in that crazy foreign land
Too much left behind buried in the sand
He married once but he never will again
But poor performance and lack of attendance finally did him in

Got no family and got no friends
On the road to a tragic end
Around the world and back again
Seems like a waste somehow
He'd do it better if he had the chance
He'd learn to love and learn to dance
Make his life a sweet romance
He ought to start right now

I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME
© 2005 by Jim Morris

I don't want to go home
That's the first thing she said
I'll give everything away
I'd rather stay here instead
Let my friends leave without me
I'll just make it on my own
I don't need lot's of money
And I don't want to go home

The flight made her nervous
The plane was very small
Sometimes the hardest way to go
Is the only way at all
She went walking by the water
And pretty soon she found
The rhythm of the island
Finally calmed her down
And now she wonders
Can this be for real
Cause it was so surprising
How the island made her feel

She fell in love with the ocean
Made her feel so free
Sailing every day
Sliding over the sea
The sound of the steel pans
And an island melody
Left no question in her mind
This is where she needs to be

Life's a crazy puzzle
And you stumble over clues
Then it's all about your choices
so be careful what you choose

DIVERS DO IT DEEPER
David Allen Coe

It was too cold to stay in the north
And LA seemed the most likely place I could be
Those Malibu nights and those Holly wood lights
Were blinding me

I longed for a lover to help me discover
The secrets to unlock love's door
While diving the reef's floor
She changed my beliefs
As we made love on the ocean's floor
And she whispered

Divers do it deeper
Jockeys do it shorter
Brick layers always make it
Just a little bit stronger
Sailors do it wetter
Soldiers do it better
But cowboys stay in the saddle
Just a little bit longer

I moved from LA
For a good job with pay
Riding range for the Double Bar J
When the rodeo came I put in my name
For the bull riding contest that day

The judges were watching
But they didn't notice the girl
Standing close to my chute
She picked me to win
I could tell by her grin
As she reached out and patted my boot
And she said

Divers do it deeper
Pilots do it higher
Bricklayers always make it
Just a little bit stronger, stronger
Sailors do it wetter
Soldiers do it better
But cowboys stay in the saddle
Just a little bit longer

12:15 A.M. ON NEW YEAR'S DAY
© 2005 by Jim Morris

Hey I'm doing better
I thought you might wonder
That's why I bothered to call
I've been in good spirits
Mostly from Napa
And it takes me away from it all
Don't be alarmed by the sound of this message
Actually my head is quite clear
It's 12:15 A.M. on New Year's Day
And I haven't had a drink all year.

I studied my face in the mirror
And the lines are deeper these days
Cause the world is so full of sharp edges
And it cuts me in so many ways
But I'm hanging in
And I hope you're not thinking
That it's worse than it might appear
It's 12:15 A.M. on New Year's Day
And I haven't shed a tear all year

There was a time when I thought I might go crazy
And I'm crazy as hell to think it would be easy
And I would become a new man
And there was a time I thought you might save me
But I'll save myself as soon as I can

Well I'm hanging up
I'll get back to the party
I just wanted to tell you good night
No one ever said this would be easy
And it looks like no one was right
I hope that you're pleased by the sound of this message
I was trying to fill you with cheer
It's 12:15 A.M. on New Year's Day
And I haven't felt better all year
It's 12:15 A.M. on New Year's Day
And I haven't felt better all year

Hey I'm doing better
I thought you might wonder
That's why I bothered to call

I took my boat up Crystal River
To a very laid back bar
I saw a girl who looked like you
So I wondered where you are

Somewhere in the middle
Of the oysters and the beers
I felt a whole lot older
When I added up the years

The past gets hazy with time
And when you look you'll find
A big ol' stack of yesterdays
In the corners of your mind

Just a very brief encounter
Though the memory's hard to reach
We escaped a summer rainstorm
At your house near Smather's beach

Good wine and conversation
Kept us high and dry
And when we saw the sun again
Three days had passed us by

The past gets hazy with time
You wake up and you find
A big ol' pile of memories
In the corners of your mind

I vanished like the summer rain
I wasn't one to stay
By the time I came around again
You had sailed away
I heard you found someone in Spain
And that was just my luck
That's the way I was back then
I could really screw things up

So there on Crystal River
With the oysters and the beers
I looked among the clutter
Of all the passing years
The trip was really special
And I sure enjoyed the view
I took a moment to remember
Three days I spent with you

The past gets hazy with time
You wake up and you find
A big ol' pile of memories
In the corners of your mind

The past gets hazy with time
And when you look you'll find
A big ol' stack of yesterdays
In the corners of your mind

I'm tired of being tired
I'd take some drugs
But I'm tired of being wired
I'd get a job
But I'm tired of being fired
Woe is me

I'd take a trip but I'm on one
I'll have a drink
If it's a strong one
She said I'll have you
If it's a long one
Woe is me

I saw the Virgin Mary
On my toast
My oatmeal looks like
The Holy Ghost
Ebay is looking mighty good to me

I once was a master
If you did it fast
I did it faster
Now my life is a total disaster
Woe is me

My romance just soured
I'd join the army but I'm a coward
Three girls in my hot tub
But I just showered
Woe is me

I saw the Virgin Mary
On my toast
My oatmeal looks like
The Holy Ghost
Breakfast is scaring the hell out of me

I once was admired
Often desired
Now all my women are hired
Woe is me
Woe is me
Woe is me
I am Woe

return to top

return to Pretend You're In Tahiti main page